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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Bad Times, Good Times

For the last two weeks, I’ve been suffering again, as always every year, clogged nostrils and sticky phlegm, coupled with pre-menstrual syndrome, annoying headache and a thing that comes out of the lid of my right eye due to over smoking and unhealthy lifestyle, I guess. I decided not to take medication (aside from the Vitamin C) since it’s not getting worse anyway and that I know drinking water and eating the right things would be sufficient to make it go away. But it’s not, unfortunately. The aircon and the fan pisses me off, I go to bed as early as possible and then in the morning, its takes a lot of effort to move my ass and go to work. These, I believe are the bad times.. Bad days, when you need passion for work, but you fake the smile, and you do your best knowing that hell, it was just your problem.. Blah blah.

Good thing, after months of not-seeing-each other, I met my friend last Thursday, who turned a year older last Sept 25. It feels good in a way to have someone hear (not listen) to my rants knowing he’s not capable of giving empathy. But it was the same pleasant feeling way back in college that I talk most of the time, and he gives me that mocking grin, and off we go, knowing that we will meet again after some time.

For this week, I should say, after all the physical inconveniences, the new demands from people I’m working with, I wanted to stay positive and to free myself from the unnecessary distractions.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Parting Poem

Yesterday, my Boss (who is about to leave the country in a few days time) gave me a book, handwritten on the title page is this poem by Rainer Maria Rilke, he said that it suits me somehow. It’s true. I was teary eyed when I finished reading it the first time.

At first, I thought I was cynical because of the title , with the word ‘God’ – which is commonly interpreted as a Supreme Being overseeing and watching us all, checking if we are either doing good or bad, but in this poem, it shows the ‘God’ that is not placed in religions.

God Speaks To Each Of Us

God speaks to each of us before we are,
Before he's formed us — then, in cloudy speech,
But only then, he speaks these words to each
And silently walks with us from the dark:
Driven by your senses, dare
To the edge of longing. Grow
Like a fire's shadow casting glare
Behind assembled things, so you can spread
Their shapes on me as clothes.
Don't leave me bare.
Let it all happen to you: beauty and dread.
Simply go — no feeling is too much —
And only this way can we stay in touch.
Near here is the land
That they call Life.
You'll know when you arrive
By how real it is.
Give me your hand.
And today, 17th September, is my Boss’ birthday.

Monday, September 13, 2010

‘De Mi Jardin’ By Jose Palma (1876-1903)

I came across this poem while being irritated that the last trip of the ferry boat going to Hulo Station left already, I had no choice but to take the LRT and MRT, and suffer from the buzzing crowd. And there, inside the train, I saw it, haunting and sad..

Me pide sampaguitas, no te envio

Porque al ir a cortarlas de la rama,

Senti temblar mis manos y mi pecho

       prensado por la lastima.

No quiero que padezcan esas flores,

Como padece, lejos de ti, mi alma;

No quiero que al contacto de mis manos,

          perezcan marachitadas.

Translation in Tagalog:

Humingi ka ng mga sampaguita...Di kita bibigyan,
Dahil nang puputulin ko na sa mga sanga'y
Nanginig ang aking kamay at ang dibdib ko'y
Nanikip dahil sa awa.

Ayokong magdusa ang mga bulaklak na iyon,
Gaya ng pagdurusa ng puso kong malayo sa iyo;
Ayokong sa sandaling hawakan ng aking kamay,

Iya'y malanta at mamatay.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Some Thoughts

Just started a new responsibility in the department I'm in, but I still cant feel the extreme excitement I have been waiting for. To kill time, I have read some articles about the previous disasters that happened in the US, Aceh of Indonesia (Tsunami), etc. Its not too much, I need more information. My assignment in Operations Center last Tuesday was great, in a way, it's always exciting the first time. But when calls come in about some emergency, there goes the rush of the blood, and the sense of urgency to decide on what to do next.

Things are still slow..